Hypomania

Now that I reread that previous entry, I wonder about the sharp edges. I still think there are none when it comes to solutions. No clear route presents itself. However, occasional moments of black and white, extreme contrast, do present themselves. I have recently been told the acute sense of other people's errors is a symptom of hypomania. Irritability does not reach the threshold of true mania. I am curious about the term hypomania. A hyper thyroid is overactive while hypothyroidism means under activity. So is hypomania an underachieving mania? Could there even exist a hypermania?
I have to agree with Eddie Izzard in his observation of dyslexia as a term. He commented that dyslexia is not such a swell choice to label a disorder suffered by people who have trouble with spelling. Why not call it "bonk?" I think that people who come up with some of the labels need to examine their process. Getting back to hypomania, isn't the term mania an extreme already? To me that implies no possibility of hypermania. Consider the derivative maniac. That label plainly describes ultimate behavior and not a continuum. Or am I wrong? Are there classes of extreme? Could someone be hypermanic or even uber manic? Hypo suggests under, less, insufficient. Hypoglycemia is another example. I cannot define that one but I believe it has to do with sugar production and there is the contrasting hyperglycemia.
What this all comes down to is that hypomania is a misnomer. How can there be less that sufficient mania? The set of symptoms delineates a real condition, but call it something else. Otherwise the treatment should aim for increasing the insufficient symptoms until true mania is achieved.

Expectations, Not Great

In depression there is a disconnect somewhere among expectations, realities, and results. The would-be ballerina expects that she will be a dancer. Reality is that she has two left feet. The result is somewhat short of ballet.
The ballerina example is over simplified since depression goes on in some intangible zone of thought and emotions. So I might expect to weather the storm of a family visit, and the reality is that I survive it. Their departure, however, results in a let down. I do not know why; searching for that reason may not even be the key.
Depression is a foggy place where sharp edges and facile answers recede.

After having commented on Vick returning to football, I thought it would only be fair to likewise say something about Mark McGwire's confession and his return to a coaching position with the Cardinals. After all, I am a St. Louisan, so I should watch my own backyard first.
There are several differences between Vick's and McGwire's cases, as there are differences between McGwire and , say, a cocaine using athlete.

• Steroids were not banned by baseball when McGwire used them.


• No animals were harmed by his use.


• McGwire did not have t-shirts made advertising any illegal activities.


• Steroid use did not hinder his ability to perform in a way the club expected.


• Except for the danger to his own health, McGwire did not threaten the safety of his family.

If Vick's case gave hope to out of work felons, the McGwire's example might be one of how to get around congressional scrutiny.

Comedy and God

We went to see Eddie Izzard last evening. His flight of ideas style is wonderful and something I totally understand. I was thrown a bit by his not believing in God. I wanted to have a theological discussion with him which is what I did in my head. It is a sad comment on much of Europe and so called scientific persons that God does not fit into their world view. Then I realized I was there for the comedy, and that was great--even the pokes at the papacy. I guess I can go as far as the Monty Pythonesque big personage telling King Arthur not to grovel, but I am not cool enough to give up on God. He/She has a sense of humor. Of that I am sure.
If you know me well enough to talk with me, ask about the badger joke.

Snow and No

We had a "snow event" Wednesday into Thursday with about 5 inches of soft, dry snow followed by strong wind gusts and frigid cold. I swept the front and back walks. The snow was light enough in weight to allow for a broom--not as heart attack inducing as a shovel . I enjoyed the tiny excursion into the cold and was then grateful for a warm house and cats to warm the lap.
I said no to the job, and I feel okay about that. It did occur to me that I was closing one door but am not sure where that damned window might be that I could now open.

Work

A former employer phoned me this morning and presented me with a dilemma. There is an opening that I could certainly fill. It would include tutoring in math as well as English, but a pretty basic math level. I would only need some brush up on basic algebra. It is just ten minutes from my home, and I would be working with a population I really enjoy. It was kind of them to think of me. I know I could do the work and be happy at it. The pay is also decent although it is a part time job with no benefits as is so often true of community college work. So far it is only funded for this semester with a possibility of a supplemental budget item in the future. No situation is ever perfect, is it? And there is the already paid for cruise at the end of April. I went so far as to look into changing the dates since it would be right before exam time--a necessarily busy time for the tutoring. Change does not look possible. Considering all of this is giving me a headache.

Difference

I wonder what the difference is between depression and unhappiness. I get anger, something I did not express enough of for much of my life. And I understand resentment that grows out of anger. I try to deal with resentments as they present themselves--work through the anger, pray for the person, do something physical. But I would like to discover what it means to be unhappy compared to depressed. From language use, many people attribute unhappiness to circumstances and such that can be changed. Depression is more of a sentence that has to be commuted by drugs or talk therapy or both.

Sometimes I feel like there is another step that I am not privy to. Today the homily at church included advice about not living so much for the planned future that we miss the here and now. "Everything will be fine once I get the job," or "Things will be good once I retire" were two examples of possibly not getting much out of today. I am willing to grant that living only for a plan is not healthy or holy, but what then is the next step? If God grants me the serenity to know what I can change and what I cannot, what do I then do about the unchanged stuff?