I have been taking an additional medication for a few months. I am not going to make this a confessional about the meds I have experienced along the way in an effort to "stabilize" my life. However, this new ingredient in the cocktail has implications I am attempting to accept. The stuff is called provigil and its original purpose and claim to fame is as an antidote to narcolepsy. Supposedly, the person who ingests provigil is able to remain alert, purposefully and appropriately grab a twenty minute cat nap, and then awaken again alert. Two different medical professionals claimed it is used by military who might at any time be engaged in battle. They may go for days without the opportunity for long stretches of sleep, so short naps and return to alertness make sense. I wondered if the same pharmaceutical rep had given the same spiel to both doctors. More recently, the medication has been approves for other uses.
Whatever the medical explanation may be, I believe provigil has made me more aware. Now I am left with all this damned awareness. It is similar to when I finally admitted to myself that I was an incest survivor. Oh swell. Now I have this yummy information. Don't I feel better? No.
This time I am becoming aware of things around me and inside of me that I don't like so much. So, deal with it. Right?
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