A Dance

I was just reading my eldest daughter's blog and felt inspired. I am actually inspired by all of my daughters in different ways. But about the eldest--I am in awe of all she manages to do and to do well. From quilting to knitting to rearing wonderful children. But sometimes I think she feels the need to justify herself to me. Maybe I make some random comment about some toy in her living room and she says she has not had the time to pick up the entire downstairs, which is where her two year old stays so busy with everything. I don't mean to confront her housekeeping skills. How she keeps her house is up to her, and she has three kids who move from room to room dropping detritus. That' just what it's like to have children, happy children. The funny thing is that in this dance we both join, I feel like I want to justify myself to her. Mentally ill (God, that is a horrible term), I often lack energy, lack the will to be creative. And I want her to understand that I am not lazy so much as very emotionally tired. Maybe she already understands, but I decided to write about this since I doubt I will ever be able to say it out loud.