A Tree in the Forest

So, if I post a blog and nobody reads it, does it still use up ink? How about space? Is there any limit to cyber space? What about gravitational pull?

Tired

I have to remember to do this blog thing earlier in the day. I get sucked in late at night reading my daughters' blogs and then I forget to go to bed or I start fighting back tears or I just think too much to sleep. I should know better.

Against the Darkness

What happens when you write a blog that almost nobody reads? I have a blogger daughter who faithfully peruses my copy, and occasionally she will send her readers my way. She has made some wonderful connections via her blog, but alas I am a lone voice in a cyberspace wilderness. Is it my attitude? Could it be my personality creeping into the lines of prose? I have chosen not to lose sleep over this puzzle. I will instead read a few fellow posters and continue to rail against the darkness.

Fear of Writing

Maybe it is more a fear of life in general. It's difficult to determine. I have flirted with writing in this blog again for several days but was afraid to actually follow through with any writing. I don't know if I feel guilty for not having visited for so long. I really did not want to be tied in that way to a blog, having one more thing I would feel guilty about not doing any particular day. So much for my whining.
My life is typically messy. I have a family and a neighborhood and friends and church and work, so of course life would be messy if I am paying attention at all. Sometimes I just pay such close attention that I wake up one day and realize that craziness is reigning. Then there is the crawling back. In the Bill Murray movie What About Bob? the Richard Dreyfus character talks about baby steps to mental health. He publishes a self-help book about the concept. I personally think baby steps are a leap (forgive the mixing of metaphors). Crawling makes more sense to me. That action better expresses the weights that keep me from standing. I'm not envisioning a baby crawling but an adult in one of those Renaissance paintings of a classical figure pulling himself up out of the abyss. Cheery, huh? So I am crawling back once again, and posting to the blog has to be a positive component.
Work sucks. Not being listened to sucks. Being powerless sucks.