The Plague and Other Annoyances

Whatever this uber-bug may be that some of us are passing to one another, one of the tutors at work--Josh--referred to it as the plague. I believe he has hit on something here. 'Tis so much nastier that the "common" cold and super-bug is already overused. So why not hearken back to terms of olde like the plague?
Why not? I'll tell you why not. . . because we won't be havin' any o' those wasted letters like the "e" at the end of olde. That's just too damned medieval elitist.
Now that I think about it, the word "olde" is not so elitist. It's more the Walmart version of elitist, isn't it? You know, you can't afford the real thing so you buy the cheap, mass produced item. A quick google gave me too many golf course links (no pun intended) including the word "olde," along with American shoppes and B&Bs trying to be British, I would guess.
Can you tell I have ingested way too much cold medication of various sorts? No longer running on empty, I am buzzed an an assortment of drugs ending in drine. My brain has become its own small scale, portable meth lab.
I think I will randomly telephone some friend to spread the confusion. Toodles.